Handy dandy, controversy surrounds him He been around the world and back again Something in the moonlight still hounds him Handy dandy, just like sugar and candy Handy dandy, if every bone in his body was broken he would never admit it He got an all girl orchestra and when he says "Strike up the band", they hit it Handy dandy, handy dandy Bridge #1: You say, "What are ya made of?" He says, "Can you repeat what you said?" You'll say, "What are you afraid of?" He'll say, "Nothin' neither 'live nor dead." Handy dandy, he got a stick in his hand and a pocket full of money He says, "Darling, tell me the truth, how much time I got?" She says, "You got all the time in the world, honey." Handy dandy, Handy dandy Bridge #2: He's got that clear crystal fountain He's got that soft silky skin He's got that fortress on the mountain With no doors, no windows, no thieves can break in Handy dandy, sitting with a girl named Nancy in a garden feelin' kind of lazy He says, "Ya want a gun? I'll give you one." She says, "Boy, you talking crazy." Handy dandy, just like sugar and candy Handy dandy, pour him another brandy Handy dandy, he got a basket of flowers and a bag full or sorrow He finishes his drink, he gets up from the table he says, "Okay, boys, I'll see you tomorrow." Handy dandy, handy dandy, just like sugar and candy Handy dandy, just like sugar and candy