Well, I woke up in the morning There's frogs inside my socks Your mama, she's a-hidin' Inside the icebox Your daddy walks in wearin' A Napoleon Bonaparte mask Then you ask why I don't live here Honey, do you have to ask? Well, I go to pet your monkey I get a face full of claws I ask who's in the fireplace And you tell me Santa Claus The milkman comes in He's wearing a derby hat Then you ask why I don't live here Honey, how come you have to ask me that? Well, I asked for something to eat I'm hungry as a hog So I get brown rice, seaweed And a dirty hot dog I've got a hole Where my stomach disappeared Then you ask why I don't live here Honey, I gotta think you're really weird. Your grandpa's cane It turns into a sword Your grandma prays to pictures That are pasted on a board Everything inside my pockets Your uncle steals Then you ask why I don't live here Honey, I can't believe that you're for real. Well, there's fist fights in the kitchen They're enough to make me cry The mailman comes in Even he's gotta take a side Even the butler He's got something to prove Then you ask why I don't live here Honey, how come you don't move?